Perhaps there is something in the universe I'm not aware of, allowances that are hidden, or rules that haven't yet been published. Or perhaps it's social dynamics evolving and morphing into something meant only for fiction. I don't really know. Maybe, just maybe, it was always meant to be, that somewhere in the architects master plan, somewhere on the blueprint there were two places and times there would be Rendall-Daniele lines intersecting. If this were a highway and they were coming to the same intersection at the same time, you might expect a terrible crash. Actually, there was, and all of us still have injuries that are healing. Some injuries are more obvious and more talked about, some injuries are deep within and will heal inspite of others. But the reality is that since I took on the Daniele name 2 years ago, there is a Daniele that will be taking on the Rendall name sometime in the near future. Stranger than fiction, this is the stuff that tv talk shows thrive on. But I wouldn't want a talk show made on this part of my life. Not exactly.
If I were on a talk show about the whole strange turn of events, I would want the important messages and lessons learned to be brought out. Not just the angst and feelings that have gone along with the entire process. The accurate truth, not just one sides version needs to be told. One side is only half the story. The truth is that one side of the story would not exist without the other side. Realizing there is way more to it would be a key to understanding the whole story. Then, not as much blame would be laid, not as much anger would be tossed about and, as well, there would not be as much disrespect given to those who are presumed to be at fault. The truth is that we are all at fault, we have all made mistakes, but we are all forgiven.
One important lesson, perhaps the most important lesson, is that God is in control of all things. If God's plan is used to explain half the story, then it must be used to explain all of the story. Otherwise the logic doesn't add up and you end up limiting God. God answered my prayer for someone to love me as much as I loved them. God answered Michael's prayer for someone who he could deeply love. Now, He could have answered those prayers in a million different ways, but He chose to answer them in the way that He did. Fingerprints were left about for us to find, the path was drawn and permission was given to make the choices. And we know this for sure. There is no question, no doubt, no regret. Following God doesn't always look the way you think it will and for us, it was not what we would have planned for ourselves. God saw Michael and God saw me, both broken spirited, broken hearted people, longing for relationships grounded deep in His love...and He said "oh, this one is easy." This was not a problem too big for God, nor was it a request that He could not honor. His graciousness and mercy poured out on us and we felt His hand of favor moving in our lives, expanding our borders, prospering us and protecting us along the way.
Now, practicing what I preach, I have to add that if God can bring together two people, a Rendall and a Daniele, to love each other, then I have to say that He can bring two more people, a Rendall and a Daniele, as well, to love each other. Not what we might plan, surely not what society expects. But God has a plan that trumps our plans most every time. The truth is that because Michael is in my life, I am a better person, he brings out the best in me and I feel deeply loved. And he has told me, almost without ceasing, that he is a better person, the best is being brought out in him and feels deeply loved because I am in his life. We would not want anything less than what God wants for our lives. So, looking to the other side, if Dennis brings out the best in Lori, which Michael could not, and Lori brings out the best in Dennis, which I could not, then all the glory and credit to God for bringing people together who belong together. He is a good God and knows us better than we know ourselves.
The residual issues that will present themselves will be something that the four of us, as adults, will have to address. Not in a spirit of anger, hatred or resentment. But instead, in a spirit of reconciliation, a spirit of friendship and a spirit of grace and mercy. If they choose not to contribute to this strange configuration of relationships, that would be unfortunate. They have been working on their relationship as long as we have, since around September of 2006, so their strength as a couple should be mature to the point where this could be possible. For all parties involved, meaning the children and grand-children, we are praying for a spirit that can only be from God and the one that will surpass our own desires and abilities. It might not seem possible that a friendship could be an end result to all of this, but if that is God's plan, then we will have to find in within our hearts to make it happen.
I'm guessing it can work, another Rendall-Daniele wedding/relationship/marriage. If God is at the core, if love is at the core, if only the best intentions for one another are at the core, then I believe it's possible. And on some level, it feels good to be a catalyst, to have blazed the trail, to be the ones who said "I do" first. But this isn't a competition. To God it's just a plan. I can honor and respect that and be proud that we serve a God big enough, who is a Master Architect with a blueprint large enough, to draw a plan especially designed for all of us. He widened the circle for some reason to encompass us all under the same arc. I'm sure, I'm confident, he'll show us how to coexist under it. May God reign and may peace reign, in the hearts of both of the Rendall-Daniele's and most of all for all the Rendall-Daniele children, Sara, Ben, Chris, Beth, Bre, Lily and Wyatt.
~Photo by Loriann Lessa Molhotra~
Deb, with your attitude about the subject, who could make a negative response? I am proud to have you as my daughter and see the letter written with so much incite and personal wisdom. Thanks for sending me a copy and opening your heart about things that have been unpleasant for you. Time will tell if the other couple will be able to say the same as you have written here..ReplyDelete
I noted the time posted.... Love, Dad
Thanks, Dad. I know...sometimes I'm up waaay too late. :)ReplyDelete
Wow. Exactly the same reaction I had when I read this in January.ReplyDelete
Love you Deb,
It took some God induced half-nelsons before we said "uncle, but surrendering in His arms has made all the difference. Beautifully articulated. Love you...ReplyDelete
There's something to be said for the truth...it is it's own best defense and it does speak for itself. No embelishment required fortunately.ReplyDelete